GLORP Arcade Blaster (with FREE Gumball Gasser T-Shirt!)

Ten years! We've been crappin' out gumball shirts for a dang 'ol decade! 
Just think, when I started writing these dumb descriptions way back in 2013, who would have guessed that ten years later the store would have an auto write function that could come up with gold like this:

Experience the GLORP Arcade Blaster, a cutting-edge gaming system featuring garlic for enhanced flavor, moist grey bread for optimally satisfying texture, and wet mold for an immersive experience. Rat teeth serve as the console’s controllers for a precise, unprecedented gaming experience. As a bonus, each order comes with a FREE Gumball Gasser T-Shirt!

I wish I was kidding! The store actually wrote that!
It also fired me.  

Image size is 10.5''x10.5''. 

Printed on a 100% ring-spun cotton “Natural” Next Level 3600 t-shirt with water-based ink over discharge underbase, for the softest feeling shirt around!